Dacă și cu parcă...

Am primit iar o leapșă (chiar dacă Ștefi nu apreciază genul) de la Luana (care e curioasă). Să-mi fie cu iertare dacă pe ici, pe colo n-am putut să o iau foarte în serios. Ce mai tura-vura, here it goes:

If I were a month, I would be October, because it’s next to September.
If I were a day of the week, I would be Tuesday, because you can be sure you find a free table in a bar.
If I were a time of day, I would be 21:45, because it’ s Champions (League) time.
If I were a sea animal, I would be a dolphin, because it’s smart (of course).
If I were a direction, I would be (asta merge bine-n română: ) înainte, că-nainte era mai bine.
If I were a virtue, I would be honesty.
If I were a historical figure, I would be Leonardo da Vinci (does he belong to the category?), because he was truly an encyclopaedic character.
If I were a planet, I would be Mars, because Snickers has too many peanuts.
If I were a liquid, I would be petrol.
If I were a stone, I would be a Flintstone.
If I were a bird, I would be a pigeon, because I like large squares.
If I were a flower/plant, I would be a fully automated industrial plant (omonimia asta).
If I were a kind of weather, I would be snowfall.
If I were a musical instrument, I would be a violin.
If I were an emotion, I would be the fear of the unknown.
If I were a sound, I would be a tennis ball smashed in a silent great arena.
If I were an element, I would be water, becuase it always finds the most effective way to get somewhere.
If I were a song, I would be „Breakfast at Tiffany’s” – Deep Blue Something (tough choice, mi-a luat greu să mă decid din câteva variante).
If I were a movie, I would be (I have no idea).
If I were a tv-series, I would be „Seinfeld”, because I use to speak about nothing.
If I were a book, I would be (hmmm let’s see...) „Concepția președintelui Nicolae Ceaușescu despre noua ordine economică internațională : lucrările sesiunii Institutului pentru problemele unei noi ordini economice internaționale, [București, 4-5 decembrie 1975]” (see reason above).
If I were a fictional character, I would be Nils Holgersson.

If I were a food, I would be some kind of pasta.
If I were a city, I would be Piran (Slovenia).
If I were a taste, I would be a compound one, maybe salty and sweet.
If I were a scent, I would be... I don’t know, but surely not a „sweet” one.
If I were a colour, I would be yellow.
If I were a fabric, I would be suede (no link with Sweden, I really like it).

If I were a word, I would be Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious (v. „Mary Poppins”).
If I were a body part, I would be the brain.
If I were a facial expression, I would be a smile, because... why not?
If I were a subject in school, I would be maths, by far.
If I were a cartoon character, I would be a Flintstone (v. „if i were a stone...”).
If I were a shape, I would be a geoid.
If I were a number, I would be pi pătrat pe 2 (v-așteptați să zic 69, ai?).
If I were a car, I would be a VW Kaefer, because it made history.
If I were an item of clothing, I would be an armor.